digatisdi:

When I was in preschool there was this really weird system of time-out where they’d put you in this giant plastic bucket sort of like this one:

And the rule was you couldn’t leave the bucket for ten minutes.

In case you didn’t know, I was what the teachers referred to as a…

awlivur:

gothbaby:

Don’t look at me

Why is her left shoulder deflated?

one time i was at my friend’s house and her parents were fighting so we decided to wrap her in tin foil to lighten the mood 

blackmormon:

i was born in Phoenix, maricopa county. and in first grade we had to bring in a picture of the city we were born in. when i presented i said “i was born in arizona!” and i thought i was cool bcus everyone else was born in rhode island and then this one kid said “U WERE BORN IN THE SAND” and all the kids started chanting “SAND BABY SAND BABY” and i cried and tried to explain that people lived there and i was born in a hospital but no one believed me

jarjarbinkzz:

I got 99 problems and two other well-behaved Dalmatians.

snoopdeer:

my friend lost his mobile the other day so i asked if he wanted me to phone him and he said it was on silent so there was no way of finding it and i said well if you liked it then you should of put a ring on it 

he didn’t laugh and he didn’t find his phone